In pursuit of happiness

Ten to the power of eighty is the math types say,
Give or take a factor, likely to portray,
The approximate number of particles that comprise the universe.
I know a little of the theories espoused in an attempt to explain,
Elliptic and random motions, in the cosmic and quantum planes;
But I shake and I struggle to comprehend,
The meaning of this moment, of life and how it will all end.
Raging against uncertainty drives me close to insanity,
And almost keeps me bound to the spot I know so well,
As miserable as a sinner, in a true living hell.